Nicki Thorn and Tracy Barbatti didn't know what to expect when they entered the Black Hawk County Courthouse on April 30, 2009.

In the wake of the Iowa Supreme Court's decision legalizing same-sex marriage, several of the county's judges and magistrates stopped performing civil ceremonies to avoid marrying gays and lesbians.

Outside the courts, only a handful of Cedar Valley clergy agreed to bless the unions.

On their wedding day, however, Thorn and Barbatti found acceptance and support inside the chambers of district associate Judge Nathan Callahan.

"He told us that we were the first (same-sex) couple to be married in the Black Hawk County Courthouse, and that it was part of history, and he was happy to be a part of it," Barbatti said. "He didn't have to do that. It was heartfelt."

Nearly 10 months later, Callahan and others who performed ceremonies for gay and lesbian partners say taking part in the services has opened their eyes to the struggles those couples face. In some cases, the officiants themselves have weathered political or community backlash for presiding over the ceremonies. But the judges, magistrates and ministers who marry same-sex couples say they continue to support marriage equality.

"I really didn't expect to get invested in these services," Callahan said. "But I have to admit, the first time I did a same-sex marriage ... it was real clear that these were two people that really loved each other.

"I have to admit, I thought: Gosh, if you're going to get married, everybody should be so fortunate."

‘Just people'

As of Sept. 30, 2009, roughly 35 gay and lesbian couples had tied the knot in Black Hawk County. Some praise those unions as a civil rights victory. Others seek to add an amendment to the Iowa Constitution defining marriage as solely between one man and one woman.

Debates also rage among people of faith. The majority of mainline churches do not endorse same-sex marriage, although Eva Cameron with the Unitarian Universalist Society of Black Hawk County and the Rev. James Altenbaumer of the United Church of Christ in Cedar Falls will perform the ceremonies.

In 2004, Altenbaumer's congregation passed a resolution stating it was "open and affirming" to worshippers of all sexual orientations. A year later, a resolution at the denomination's national meeting encouraged local churches to consider performing same-sex commitment ceremonies.

"That's when it sort of hit the fan here," said the minister. "A lot of people left - mostly older people. And I think there still are some people here who aren't thrilled by the idea."
But many members of the congregation embraced the idea. A few gays and lesbians began attending Sunday services, and since the ruling Altenbaumer has married four same-sex pairs from outside his faith community. One of the couples wed on their 24th anniversary together.

"Most gay folks I see are really not interested in promoting ‘gayness' in any way," Altenbaumer said. "They're just leading their lives. They're not activists, they're just people."

Changing the conversation

Maureen Doherty, a married lesbian and minister with St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in Waverly, has studied the issue from both the civil and religious perspectives. The Cedar Falls woman wholeheartedly agrees with the Supreme Court's ruling, but also understands that people from her own faith and others still question the role churches should play in same-sex unions.

This summer, the national Episcopal church cleared its Iowa priests and congregations to choose whether to marry gay and lesbian partners.

"We're struggling very hard to do this very delicate balancing act of what is a state right and what is good and holy," said Doherty, whose parish now welcomes same-sex weddings. "I think it's a good struggle. ... We need to talk about what is marriage, rather than who can be married."

State Republicans failed in an attempt last week to force a vote on a gay marriage ban. Votes by two consecutive general assemblies are required before an amendment goes before voters, meaning 2014 is the earliest a referendum on same-sex unions could reach the ballot box.

By that time, Judge Callahan hopes politicians will have moved on to other issues.

"I suspect that after five years, (same-sex couples) are just going to be paying the bills, like any married couple," Callahan said. "I suspect things won't change much at all, other than they'll have the benefits of a civil marriage contract."